Simplified Dating: The Ultimate Guide To Mastering Dating... Quickly by Harris O'Malley

Author:Harris O'Malley [O'Malley, Harris]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: NerdLove Industries
Published: 2014-02-07T22:00:00+00:00

EIGHT

SOCIAL STATUS

The Over-Importance of Status

THERE’S AN OBSESSION with the concept of value and status when you’re dealing with men’s dating advice. The idea is that, when you boil everything down, women are attracted to high-value, high-status men; therefore, men who want to be more successful with women should be as high-value as possible.

Don’t get me wrong: social status and value are definitely attractive… but they’re not the end-all, be-all that people seem to think they are.

Especially when we keep getting the definitions of value wrong.

The most common definitions of high-value or high-status men - much like the idea of an “attractive lifestyle - is in the measure of their material wealth. The complaint that women only want rich men is a common stereotype. It’s often a tenet of evolutionary psychology that women instinctively look for the best providers; thus it gets extrapolated that women get the screaming thigh-sweats as soon as they see a man flash a Patek Philippe watch or who have a whiff of beluga caviar on them. Nobody really believes that Anna-Nicole Smith married an octogenarian billionaire because of pure animal attraction, right?

Of course, this is easily disprovable; a quick trip to your local Wal-Mart will find plenty of folks in happy relationships, despite their distinct lack of Hermes, Bugatti or Swiss bank accounts. In my own life I’ve known many men of privilege – ranging from “comfortably well-to-do” to “richer than God” – who had the same troubles with women that I did. Money by itself clearly didn’t buy love for them; it didn’t even give them that much of an advantage at the negotiating table.

Money is good at attracting women… who only want money, and aren’t too concerned about who provides it.

What about power? Noted playboy and war criminal Henry Kissinger once quipped that “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”, and Lord knows that the man got more ass than a drunk at a donkey auction with a stolen credit card, despite the fact that he looks like the Goblin King. And I don’t mean the one with the muppets and the codpiece.

To be fair, some people are attracted to power. But at the same time, Kissinger was also a political animal who thrived in a world of influence-peddling and Machiavellian manipulation; this is not an arena where the socially awkward get ahead. It’s the job of the Secretary of State to be able to charm and influence others. And after all, a man who was able to negotiate détente with Russia wasn’t going to be flummoxed by a pretty lady.

What about fame? It certainly helps – Kevin Bacon once mentioned that “any idiot can get laid if they were famous”. But it’s clearly not the end-all, be-all – after all, Ray-J isn’t exactly the last of the Red Hot Lovers despite having been propelled to momentary stardom by association with Kim Kardashian. Does a socially desirable job make one higher status? I’ve known plenty of lawyers, doctors, actors, musicians and DJs who have all had miserable dating lives.

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